THE LOCAL PASTOR EXPLAIN THAT HE MUST MOVE ON TO A LARGER CONGREGATION THAT WILL PAY HIM MORE. THERE IS A HUSH WITHIN THE CONGREGATION.... NO ONE WANTS HIM TO LEAVE.

MIKE SMITH, WHO OWNS SEVERAL CAR DEALERSHIPS IN SOUTHLAND AND OTAGO, STAND UP AND PROCLAIM: IF THE PASTOR STAYS, I WILL PROVIDE HIM WITH A NEW CAR EVERY YEAR AND HIS WIFE WITH A HONDA MINI-VAN TO TRANSPORT THEIR CHILDRENS.

THE CONGREGATION SIGHS IN APPRECIATION AND APPLAUDS.

SAM BROWNS, A SUCCESSFUL ENTREPRENEUR, STANDS AND SAYS, IF THE PASTOR WILL STAY ON HERE, I'LL PERSONALLY DOUBLE HIS SALARY AND ESTABLISH A FOUNDATION TO GUARANTEE PRIVATE SECONDARY SCHOOL EDUCATION FOR HIS CHILDRENS!

MORE SIGHS AND LOUD APPLAUSE.

AGNES JONES, AGES 88, STANDS AND ANNOUNCES WITH A SMILE, IF THE PASTOR STAYS, I WILL GIVE HIM SEX. THERE IS A TOTAL SILENCE....

THE PREACHER, BLUSHING, ASKS HER: MRS. JONES, WHATEVER POSSESSED YOU TO SAY THAT?

AGNES'S 90-YEAR OLD HUSBAND, JOE IS NOW TRYING TO HIDE HOLDING HIS FOREHEAD WITH THE PALM OF HIS HAND AND SHAKING HIS HEAD FROM SIDE TO SIDE, WHILE HIS WIFE REPLIES: 'WELL, I JUST ASKED MY HUSBAND HOW WE COULD HELP , AND HE SAID,
F**K THE PASTOR'